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The San Francisco Daily Morning Call, September 6, 1864


An amorous old sinner, named John Fine, went to the North Beach bath-house on Sunday for a swim. Owing to the number of pounds he weighed, he was forced to wade - his weight being considerably over several stone he couldn't swim, for who ever heard of stones swimming. In order to make up the deficit of fun, he went to the partition that screens the ladies' department, and peeped through a crevice. Mr. Ills, the proprietor of the establishment, witnessed the untoward scrutiny, and ordered him away; but life's charms riveted Fine to the spot, and he heeded not the Ills, when his person suffered under the weight of another stone. The proprietor sent a projectile which struck him in the face, near the left eye. Astronomically speaking, Fine saw stars, but didn't think it a fine sight. He left at once and prosecuted Ills. Yesterday Mr. Ills was fined five dollars for assault and battery.

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