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Directory of Mark Twain's maxims, quotations, and various opinions:

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DOGS

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
- Mark Twain, a Biography

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
- Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

A composite dog is a dog that's made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed--kind of a syndicate; and a mongrel is made up of the riffraff that's left over.
- Mark Twain in Eruption, p. 222. Used in "His Grandfather's Old Ram" speech.

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's.
- Letter to W. D. Howells, 4/2/1899

FTE Dog illustration in color
Illustration from first edition of Following the Equator.
Color tint by Kent Rasmussen © 2004.

On the 22d of June he sold his dog--said 'Dern a dog, anyway, where you're just starting off on a rattling bully pleasure tramp through the summer woods and hills--perfect nuisance--chases the squirrels, barks at everything, goes a-capering and splattering around in the fords--man can't get any chance to reflect and enjoy nature--and I'd a blamed sight ruther carry the claim myself, it's a mighty sight safer; a dog's mighty uncertain in a financial way--always noticed it-- . . .
- A Tramp Abroad

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