EARLY RISING

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow.
- Mark Twain's Notebook

Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd saw; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.
- Mark Twain's Notebook

Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
- "New Year's Day," reprinted from Territorial Enterprise in Golden Era, 1/14/1866