 Illustration from first edition of THE INNOCENTS ABROAD |
That is the Can-can. The idea of it is to dance as wildly, as noisily,
as furiously as you can; expose yourself as much as possible if you are
a woman; and kick as high as you can, no matter which sex you belong to.
There is no word of exaggeration in this. Any of the staid, respectable,
aged people who were there that night can testify to the truth of that
statement. There were a good many such people present. I suppose French
morality is not of that strait-laced description which is shocked at trifles. A French married lady cannot enter even a menagerie without bringing
the purity of that menagerie under suspicion. The objects of which Paris folks are fond--literature, art, medicine
and adultery. I like to look at a Russian or a German or an Italian--I even like to
look at a Frenchman if I ever have the luck to catch him engaged in anything
that ain't delicate. |
|
France has usually been governed by prostitutes. A Frenchman's home is where another man's wife is. It has always been a marvel to me--that French language; it has always
been a puzzle to me. How beautiful that language is! How expressive it
seems to be! How full of grace it is! And when it comes from lips like
those [of Sarah Bernhardt], how eloquent and how limpid it is! And, oh,
I am always deceived--I always think I am going to understand it. M. de Lamester's new French dictionary just issued in Paris defines virtue
as: "A woman who has only one lover and don't steal." |
 19th century French poster |
In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them
in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own
language.
- The Innocents Abroad
There is nothing lower than the human race except the French.
- quoted by Carl Dolmetsch, Our Famous Guest
It is human to like to be praised; one can even notice it in the French.
- "What Paul Bourget Thinks of Us"
In certain public indecencies the difference between a dog & a Frenchman
is not perceptible.
- Notebook #17, October 1878 - February 1879
It appears that at last census that every man in France over 16 years of age
& under 116, has at least 1 wife to whom he has never been married. French
novels, talk, drama & newspaper bring daily & overwhelming proofs that
the most of the married ladies have paramours. This makes a good deal of what
we call crime, and the French call sociability.
- Notebook #18, Feb.- Sept. 1879
French are the connecting link between man & the monkey.
- Notebook #18, Feb.- Sept. 1879
Trivial Americans go to Paris when they die.
- Notebook #18, Feb.- Sept. 1879
It is the language for lying compliment, for illicit love & for the conveying
of exquisitely nice shades of meaning in bright graceful & trivial conversations--the
conveying, especially of double-meanings, a decent & indecent one so blended
as--nudity thinly veiled, but gauzily & lovelily.
- Notebook #18, Feb.- Sept. 1879
...anywhere is better than Paris. Paris the cold, Paris the drizzly, Paris
the rainy, Paris the damnable. More than a hundred years ago somebody asked
Quin, "Did you ever see such a winter in all your life before?" "Yes,"
said he, "Last summer." I judge he spent his summer in Paris. Let
us change the proverb; Let us say all bad Americans go to Paris when they die.
No, let us not say it for this adds a new horror to Immortality.
- letter to Lucius Fairchild, 28 April 1880, reprinted in Mark Twain, The
Letter Writer
An isolated & helpless young girl is perfectly safe from insult by a Frenchman,
if he is dead.
- Notebook #20, Jan. 1882 - Feb. 1883
A dead Frenchman has many good qualities, many things to recommend him; many
attractions--even innocencies. Why cannot we have more of these?
- Notebook #20, Jan. 1882 - Feb. 1883
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