Note that venerable proverb: Children and fools always speak the truth. The
deduction is plain: adults and wise persons never speak it.
- "On the Decay of the Art of Lying"
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The old saw says--"let a sleeping dog lie." Experience knows
better; experience says, If you want to convince do it yourself. "Let a sleeping dog lie." It is a poor old maxim, & nothing
in it: anybody can do it, you don't have to employ a dog. You cain't pray a lie. The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if
a man only tells them with all his might. [Lying] Man's most universal weakness. |
Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself;
in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice
and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
- Autobiographical dictation April 1904. "Notes on 'Innocents Abroad.'"
Published in Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 1 (University of California
Press, 2010)
for
more info on the background of this quote, see Stephen Goranson's post to the
Mark Twain Forum 31 July 2002
Carlyle said "a lie cannot live." It shows that he did not know how
to tell them.
- Autobiographical dictation, 2 December 1906. Published in Autobiography
of Mark Twain, Volume 2 (University of California Press, 2013)
The glory which is built upon a lie soon becomes a most unpleasant incumbrance.
... How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and how hard it is to undo
that work again!
- Autobiographical dictation, 2 December 1906. Published in Autobiography
of Mark Twain, Volume 2 (University of California Press, 2013)
|
In all lies there is wheat among the chaff... Lie -- an abomination before the Lord and an ever present help in time
of trouble. The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal; the lie, as a recreation,
a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse,
man's best and surest friend is immortal. One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that
a cat has only nine lives. I would rather tell seven lies than make one explanation. |
 1913 Cream of Wheat ad featuring Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn and Aunt Polly by artist Leslie Thresher |
"Speak only good of the dead" is a sentimental way of advising the
living to lie -- at least as regards the usual run of dead people.
- reprinted in "Bright People in Autograph Albums," Fresno Republican
Weekly, 8 March 1884, p. 1 (reprinting from New York World on autographs
owned by Mr. Bok)
|
'Tis immoral to lie except for practice. Never tell a lie--P.S. - Except to keep in practice. |
 Illustration from Washington Times, 16 December 1905, p. 3. |
There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely
forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
- Following the Equator; Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar
I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle.
Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't.
- quoted in Mark Twain, Archibald Henderson
The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from
the base to the dome, of graceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish
lying.
- "On the Decay of the Art of Lying"
The young ought to be temperate in the use of this great art until practice
and experience shall give them that confidence, elegance, and precision which
alone can make the accomplishment graceful and profitable. Patience, diligence,
painstaking attention to detail -- these are the requirements; these, in time,
will make the student perfect; upon these, and upon these only, may he rely
as the sure foundation for future eminence. Think what tedious years of study,
thought, practice, experience, went to the equipment of that peerless old master
who was able to impose upon the whole world the lofty and sounding maxim that
"Truth is mighty and will prevail"-- the most majestic compound fracture
of fact which any of woman born has yet achieved. For the history of our race,
and each individual's experience, are sewn thick with evidences that a truth
is not hard to kill, and that a lie well told is immortal.
- "Advice to Youth," 15 April 1882
I realize that in a sudden emergency I am but a poor clumsy liar, whereas a
fine alert and capable emergency-liar is the only sort that is worth anything
in a sick-chamber.
- Autobiographical dictation 7 June 1908, quoting from letter to Joseph Twichell.
Published in Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 2 (University of California
Press, 2013)
It is true I have a passion for lying to rich people, but I do not lie to men
who get their bread by thankless hard work.
- Letter to William Dean Howells, 28 October 1889
Almost all lies are acts, and speech has no part in them.
- "My First Lie and How I Got Out of It"
There is a prejudice against the spoken lie, but none against any other, and
by examination and mathematical computation I find that the proportion of the
spoken lie to the other varieties is 1 to 22,894. Therefore the spoken lie is
of no consequence, and it is not worth while to go around fussing about it and
trying to make believe that it is an important matter. The silent colossal National
Lie that is the support and confederate of all the tyrannies and shams and inequalities
and unfairnesses that afflict the peoples - that is the one to throw bricks
and sermons at.
- "My First Lie and How I Got Out of It"
Anybody can tell lies: there is no merit in a mere lie, it must possess
art, it must exhibit a splendid & plausible & convincing probability;
that is to say, it must be powerfully calculated to deceive.
- "The Ashcroft-Lyon Manuscript." Published in Autobiography of
Mark Twain, Volume 3 (University of California Press, 2015)
Let others lie, wantonly, gratuitously, if they will, but let you & me
make it the rule of our life to lie for revenue only.
- manuscript page dated 15 January 1910 from the Ethel Sloan collection
|
A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on
its shoes. The results of an extensive search for the genesis of this quote and its variations was published online in July 2014 at QUOTE INVESTIGATOR. |
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