I bring you the stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched,
and dishonored, from pirate raids in Kiaochow, Manchuria, South Africa, and
the Philippines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle,
and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and towel, but hide the
looking glass.
Give her the glass; it may from error free her
When she shall see herself as others see her.
- original salutation published in the New York Herald, Dec. 30, 1900. The final two lines were added for cards distributed by the New England Anti-Imperialist League.
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Twain's greeting was originally written for the Red Cross but Twain became dissatisfied with publicity surrounding his contribution. Twain requested his contribution be returned and the disagreement with the Red Cross was reported in newspapers around the country. The greeting was later published by the New York Herald and Twain later mailed it to the Anti-Imperialist League where it was distributed on small cards.
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San Francisco DAILY MORNING CALL, MARK TWAIN WANTED HIS "GREETING" BACK Said His Words to the Red Cross Made Him Feel Like a Circus Poster in a Graveyard. NEW YORK, Dec. 29 - Among the many greetings to the new century which were received by the Red Cross Society, to be read at its chain of watch meetings, was one sent by Mark Twain. After sending it he got it into his head that the Red Cross scheme was not just what it was cracked up to be, and that the alleged greetings were largely mythical. So a few days ago he wrote to the management of the enterprise: "The list thus far issued by you contains only vague generalities and one definite name, mine -- 'Some Kings and Queens and Mark Twain.' Now, I am not enjoying this sparkling solitude and distinction, which has not been authorized by me, and which makes me feel like a circus poster in a graveyard, or like any other advertisement improperly placed." He added that unless the Red Cross manager would send him for publication a complete list of contributors he wanted his "Greeting" back. Manager F. D. Higbee explained that to publish names at that time would hurt the scheme, so he returned the "Greeting" with regret. |
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