[Untitled miscellaneous items]
The aged Professor Silliman took the homely-looking specimen of New Jersey coal, an said he would make a test and determine its quality. The next day the owners of the grand discovery waited on him again, eager to hear the verdict which was to make or mar their fortunes. The Professor said, with that impressive solemnity which always marked his manner:
"Gentlemen, I understand you to say that this property is situated upon a hill-top -- consequently the situation is prominent. It is valuable -- immensely valuable -- though as a coal mine I am obliged to observe that it is a failure. Fence it in, gentlemen -- fence it in, and hold to it through good and evil fortune till the Last Day; for I am convinced that it will be the best point from which to view the sublime spectacle of the final conflagration. I feel satisfied that if any part of the earth shall remain uninjured after that awful fire, it will be this coal mine of yours!"
"Just about the close of that long, hard winter," said the Sunday-school superintendent, "as I was wending toward my duties one brilliant Sabbath morning, I glanced down toward the levee, and there lay the City of Hartford! -- no mistake about it, there she was, puffing and panting, after her long pilgrimage through the ice. A glad sight? Well, I should say so! And then came a pang, right away, because I should have to instruct empty benches, sure; the youngsters would all be off welcoming the first steamboat of the season. You can imagine how surprised I was when I opened the door and saw half the benches full! My gratitude was free, large, and sincere. I resolved that they should not find me unappreciative. I said:
" 'Boys, you cannot think how proud it makes me to see you here, nor what renewed assurance it gives me of your affection. I confess that I said to myself, as I came along and saw that the City of Hartford was in --'
" 'No! but is she, though!'
"And, as quick as any flash of lightning, I stood in the presence of empty benches! I had brought them the news myself."
A journal has at last been found which excuses the inhumanity of Captain Eyre. It is the Toronto "Globe." It even says the Oneida ran into the Bombay -- which she doubtless did, if she was on her way to America stern foremost. There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a back act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it. And they are not really scarce, either. Cain is branded a murder so heartily and unanimously in America, only because he was neither a Democrat nor a Republican. The Feejee Islander's abuse of Cain ceased very suddenly when the white man mentioned casually that Cain was a Feejee Islander. The next remark of the savage, after an awkward pause, was:
"Well, what did Abel come fooling around there for?"
It is stated with a show of authority, that diamond engagement rings are rapidly going out of fashions, and emeralds, opals, or pearls taking their place. It is an excellent move, and one which should meet with hearty sympathy. If the idea be followed up faithfully to its extremest capabilities, matrimony will be brought within the reach of all.
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